You evil, evil, evil LJ. Evil. Vile. Which inherently means the same thing? Yes. But still, feel my wrath, because you saved the one post I didn't want you to save! *flexes chicken-wing-like arms* (Oh, and I cannot wait to start working on that picture of me defeating -- or being defeated by -- a lentil. Praise to Jade for the inspiration.)

Okay, so now to list my ailments. (A personal post? Stop the world!) The joy I feel is indescribable. *gags*

Let's see:

AILMENT ONE: A nasty, second-degree-burn on my ankle.

The Story: Guess what? Yes, our family now has a motorcycle. My dad traded his old ocean boat (pictures later) for a motorcycle. It's wonderful; it's epic; I love it; and on the first ride, I was an idiot reveling in pure ecstasy and, of course, forgot to put my right foot on the foot peg. And, yes, it resulted in a second-degree-burn which is now infected. It is disgusting. It hurts (although before, it just itched unbearably). I feel like House when I have to do my on-off limp. *cheers* Eh, anyway, it was the hottest thing I'll be touching for a long, long time, if you get my drift. (And if you don't, well, it's an obscure drift.)

AILMENT TWO: A sunburned shoulder and scalp.

The Story: ... is very boring. Went fishing. Forgot to put on sunscreen. Pure stupidity. :)

AILMENT THREE: Sporadic [insert the name of a body part that would make one heck of an alliteration] (I lied. The alliteration would actually be lame.)

The Story: I don't know. Maybe from eating a lot of vegetables and drinking lots of fluids. And I'm pretty sure you can guess of what I am speaking.

And that is all for now. Diagnosis? Thank God it's summer.

Oh yes, and I need to update "Seesaw". And work on the e-mail. And satisfy all these fanfiction ideas roaming around my sunburned brain. Two are HouseCuddy, and one is WilsonStacy. This should be interesting.

Well, as you see, my life is fairly boring. Lameville. Snoreopolis. Yawn City. And so forth.

For now, I bid you ado, and I have a feeling that I might just be editing this post. :)

Best Song/Album of the Week: "A Rush of Blood to the Head" by Coldplay. Do I really need to justify this recommendation? It's Coldplay. It's amazing. It's original. There you are.

EDIT: See? I Don't Lie...on Occasion. And Would You Believe I Was Blasphemous? (Music Now (something new and unexciting -- ignore at will: "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground [My sister went crazy on the "'90's One Hit Wonder" iTunes Essential. And yes, this is a naughty, naughty song from my childhood, which reminds me: Jade, I've had the .zip file ready for a month or so and keep forgetting to upload it. You'll get it soon.)

lemonjelly_ knows what I mean by the last part. And the picture is coming along quite well. I already have my lentil drawn. It looks like it has a hangover, which is just all the more reason for it to be enraged, right? Thought so. And this is going to be one messed up picture. I've searched "Midol" and "Sara Sidle" -- the other (closet) One True Pairing of Mine (snark below and fanfiction coming soon involving aforementioned lentil and possibly the bear with major kudos to Jade) -- for pictures and have found some, with the picture being of "Extra Strength" Midol and the picture of Sara being one where she is really, really pissy-looking. No, really. She looks like she'd eat the hung-over lentil with a beer and a whisky shooter and then shoot the bartender. It's very funny. And I have found the shirt and hat. It is coming together like I have planned! *evil laugh* See what happens to me when I have art in me? It's as pretty as this picture is going to be -- and just as messed up.

Ew! My la blistera* is leaking puss! And I almost wrote "piss" instead of "puss"! Gr-oss. (Oh, nasty! I just sounded like a teenager there! *scrapes tongue with pumice stone*

Too much information? You know it!

(Pardon my sarcastic fangirl, white (as in flat) behind, because these are my thoughts on the Sara Sidle/Midol Pairing: "OMG!1!!!!!11 that iz sooo hott cuz there naymes rye-um w/ eech ohter!11! u r a luzer iff u dont shipp saruh & mydoll!111!")

I'm obsessed with parenthesis, ellipses ("..." <-- that thing *screams at parenthesis*), and double dashes ("--"). It's terrible. I need PA: Punctuators' Anonymous. Anyone have a phonebook? Or a website address? Maybe just a pamphlet will do. It'll look like an IM conversation with a five-year-old -- *smacks double-dash* or a fourteen-year-old putz -- without any punctuation. Except it would have capitals, giving it a one-up. Here's an example:

Non-Punctuated:

Here at PA we strongly believe in helping our punctuation obsessed friends because we ourselves at one time were destined to live the same fate Our program consists of eleven steps Spinal Tap Reference But it goes up to eleven and many of our members are cure in five fast easy weeks with the member attending three evening sessions a week Blah blah blah monkey turd blah blah blah very cheap want to go out sometime baby

Punctuated:

Here at PA, we strongly believe in helping our punctuation-obsessed friends because we ourselves at one time were destined to live the same fate. Our program consists of eleven steps -- Spinal Tap Reference!: But it goes up to eleven! -- and many of our members are cure in five fast, easy weeks, with the member attending three evening sessions a week. Blah blah blah... monkey turd... blah blah blah...very cheap... want to go out sometime, baby?


This is why my journal is here: To entertain and/or irritate the masses. Am I fulfilling my duty? If I am, leave un commento* and let me know how I'm doing. And dear God, do I feel like one of those trucks with the "How Am I Doin'?" stickers on the back. Of course!

* Waffus' Copyrighted *falls on the floor, dying of laughter* "American Spanish"; Pretty Spiffy, Eh? Like My Dead-Sexy Pocket Protector Which Does Not Exist.

And could this be considered a blooper?

Taken from IMDB.com

Actor: Currie Graham (you know, Mark, Stacy's husband, and the nut who shot Brass)

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation"
... aka C.S.I. (USA: short title)
... aka CSI: Las Vegas (USA: syndication title)
... aka CSI: Weekends (USA: promotional title)
... aka Experts, Les (Canada: French title)
- Way to Go (2006) TV Episode .... Willie Cutler
- Bang-Bang (2006) TV Episode .... Willy Cutler
- Caged (2001) TV Episode .... Stanley Hunter

Could it be considered a blooper if the same actor is asked to play two different characters on the same TV show? I mean, it's not like he doesn't look exactly the same in "Caged", "Bang-Bang", and "Way to Go". I wonder. I assume not, but it is a possibility, isn't it?

This entry reminds me of an episode of PeeWee's Playhouse: Pointless, random, and very strange, even without PeeWee the Masterba -- Master of All Things Playhouse-y. (Dang VH1 "Forty Best Celebrity Mug Shots"!)

Oh yeah, speaking of PeeWee's Triple-X-Rated Adventure, guess what song I bought? It's very ironic, think about it...

...

"I Touch Myself" by Divinyls.

No. Comment. It's a sick song, but also a very wonderful one. Hey, it's not your ninety-nine cents, is it?

Okay, I'm done. Over with. Stick a fork in me. But what kind? Salad, regular, or whatever other kinds there are? Maybe a spoon. But an ice cream, soup, or regular one? Okay, forget it. Just sick the bear on me now. Or stick me in the faulty washing machine. Take your pick. ;)

...that whenever I think of a good title for one of my journal entries that I lose it?

All right, so an update on the entalmay ealthhay situation: I am feeling better. Yeah, not quite like skipping around in a field of daisy and screaming to the world that I love everyone and everything in life -- that'll be the day the core of the Earth is filled with extreme-heat-resistance bunnies who have actually been gnawing at the interior of the Earth -- which, we shall find out, is truly carrots with hot sauce -- and, in the end, cause it to implode. As cool as that would be, I'm going to say that it won't happen. And if it does, well, look for me falling through the dirt in a field of daisy. I'll still be screaming my praise for the world; you just might hear me. ;)

Okay, so some (possibly) interesting journal entry-ness for your enjoyment. There's a ninety percent chance of spoiler posting -- behind a cut; I'm not cruel like that -- with a ten percent chance of me saying the word "brilliant" and/or cyber sobbing. But first... Tales from My Life! Huzzah!

( Tales from My Life! Huzzah! )

There you are. I might have more of those in the future. Hopefully I won't have to strip down to my panties and go to a pet-door again -- regardless of how cool it was!

You know what? I'll spare you the spoilers for now. But don't think I won't edit later!

And Jade: In the edit, I'll comment to your inspiring comments. :)

Best Song/Album of the Week: (I'm going to change it; I'm just going to recommend music) "1979" by the Smashing Pumpkins

I'll be back.... eventually.

EDIT: After the Loss of Broadband but Before the Building of the Arc

Break out the buckets and start building an arc, people who know what I'm talking about. We're gonna be a-sinkin' soon.

Jeez, whatever happened to, "April showers bring May flowers." It's more like, "May torrential downpours bring June floating doors." (Hey, I'm tired. My A-material is catching up on its "z's". We're seriously being flooded. Where's Noah when you need him?

Okay, so enough about the awful weather -- which I did, willingly, walk in yesterday; I had to get out, so I asked my mom if I could go for a walk, put on a coat and some sandals, and just went for a quickie walk. Let's see...what else to do? Oh right, spoilers and whatnot. Eh, I'll just skip it because they're floating around everywhere. So I shall allow you all to fend for yourselves when it comes to spoilers. (You're welcome, Jade.) ;)

And, of course, my thank you to Jade: Thank you. And you should try out comedian as another occupation. You'd do well. :)

Well, okay, I'm not promising another edit of this because I'm just that lazy, so see everyone next week. ;)