Could someone please explain to me these two things?

One: What has happened to an abundance of decent Catherine/Grissom fanfiction?
Two: What do people see between Grissom and Sara?

For the past few months, I've been trying to see from the other point-of-view, from the perspective of the GSR 'shipper. I've read GSR fanfiction, tried writing for the relationship (even if it had the intent of stealthily hopping aboard the good ship GCR), and read opinions on why Grissom and Sara compliment each other and go together like peanut butter and the ever-loyal jelly.

Well, let's just say this: I still don't understand it.

Why is it that the majority of 'shippers watching CSI find this couple to be the most appealing? Is there some crucial element to this to which I am blind, some sort of chemistry embedded in the plot of the show that eludes me? From what I've seen in nearly six of the seven seasons -- discounting the finale for season six -- is a woman forcing herself upon a man and the said man showing little to no interest in the aforementioned woman. Granted, there have been a few moments -- such as when Sara first reacquaints herself with Grissom in "Cool Change" -- where they were relaxed and, hell, even romantic, with each other. (The only other scene without seemingly strained chemistry that I can recall is the one in "Nesting Dolls" where Grissom comforts Sara, and even that is arguably paternal, not romantic. And maybe the "tie me up" scene in "Pledging Mr. Johnson.") Other than these, however, the rest has been unbearably unnatural.

Take, for example, when Sara tells Grissom to "pin [her] down" in "The Accused Is Entitled." While it may be the basis for many a GSR fanfiction, it is a mind-numbingly uncomfortable scene (in the opinion of this writer). Not only does Sara make a blatant (and unwanted) advance, but she also manages to fail at making Grissom understand about what she is talking (the "relationship" between them).

Okay, okay -- I'll end that on a coherent note.

Still, this situation irritates me. One, because I see these astounding authors supporting this couple and have to wonder what they see in it. Two, because I see these pitiful writers sailing upon the good ship GCR and defecating all over it.

And this brings me to my next point.

What happened to all of the good GCR authors/stories? I mean, while there are still the authors, such as lemonjelly_, who write GCR almost professionally, there are these new writers who make nothing but out-of-character garbage.

I understand the motive behind the general lack of GCR fanfiction; obviously, with the loss of any interaction between Grissom and Catherine in the past three seasons (five, six, and seven), who wouldn't lose some inspiration? Still, what is with all of these relatively new writers producing only undiluted crap? My vote is for a preexisting correlation between the quality of the Catherine/Grissom interaction in the show and the decency of the fanfiction inspired by it. Hmm...

Then, though, how do you explain such "flukes" as lemonjelly_'s Zwischenzug, missparker85's, "Only Something in Me Understands", or Caroline's,"How Hard It Rains Now", all written during this time of lost momentum?

I'll honestly tell you that it's discouraging to see your "ship" held afloat by mostly immature writers with nothing better to do than kill whatever remains of the relationship. An obvious paranoia is talking when I think that maybe GCR appeals to a juvenile group rather than a more...sophisticated?...one.

I know that this is just a TV show; that they're only fictional characters who will die when the show ends; that none of this constitutes as "important" in the "sensible" mind.

Still, if anyone can answer any of these questions, I'd be happy to listen. :)

Thanks for your time. Have a good morning.

...get a kick out of this. Or not. If you don't, well, I don't really know what's wrong with you. (And I would usually say something like, "Obviously, though, there is something wrong with you because you friended me", but no, I won't, because I love my friends -- mis amigas!(I just realized I have no guy friends on this website. Wow.) -- because they are made of amazing-oscity. And yes, yes that is a lame word that a Mary Sue/Gary Stu would use. And what is my obsession with putting things in parentheses? And putting parentheses in parentheses? And why do I keep asking questions to which I -- and you guys -- don't know the answers? Strange. Eh, I'm not going to try and make myself be quiet, because I just don't care.)

Jeez, where is "Shut Up 101"? Anyway, here you are. Oh, right. There's this, too.

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS -- THOSE SPOILERS -- FOR "WAY TO GO" (6X24), SO IF YOU WANT TO REMAIN SPOILER-FREE, DO NOT CLICK ON THE CUT, ALTHOUGH I'M FAIRLY SURE EVERYONE HAS ENOUGH COMMON SENSE TO KNOW THAT BY NOW.

This is in lieu of posting the still-unfinished recommendations, which I was supposed to finish on the thirtieth. *shrugs* It'll be up eventually.

Oh yes, and Jade: Because we both suck equally, this is dedicated to you. I'm fairly sure that sentence made no sense whatsoever, but most of my journal doesn't anyway. Actually, scratch that. This is dedicated to you because you're epic, truly epic (and yes, even though you do like Sara, you'll probably appreciate this). And also it is dedicated to anyone else, such as blushingsigh, who is disgusted by G-SR, regardless of whether or not they have even seen my journal. :) And no, this is not a fanfiction. This is something I posted at a CSI forum to which I belong.

( The Tale of Grissom's Garments (Minds out of Gutter, Folks!) )

Just my little way of "venting", I suppose. That's how it should've ended. But maybe, if Carol suddenly springs from the Dark Side, she'll put this in the opener for the Season Seven Premiere. :) *snickers*

LJ didn't save my post! *sighs* Eh, whatever. I would've irritated the crap out of all of you anyway with my notes. Anyway, to the story. All the important (and not important) information is under the cut.

( I Am Not Converting! )

Comments (and concrit) are much appreciated, while flames will be used to burn the "Way to Go" script. :)

Okay, so this is going to be for CSI and probably up through Seasons One to Five (and possibly some Six in there). This is going to be my personal, weekly post because, well, nothing major is going on right now in my life and because I don't want to post an entry that's about two lines long. So here we go...

Okay, so do you remember when CSI started out, and there was no Sara? And, yeah, even though Catherine and Grissom didn't really interact in the first episode people starting 'shipping CGR right off the bat (even though in the original script it was supposed to be Catherine and Nick making out in the car wash, which, looking back on it, would've been really, truly wrong)? And remember when Holly walked in and met Grissom and how he lied to her to get a pint of her blood -- he said it was regulation, but we all found out it was to use to do blood-splatter analysis for a case about a pregnant wife hitting her husband over the head with a golf club -- and then remember how she was light-headed after and how she and Grissom chowed down on chocolate-covered grasshoppers? Oh, yeah, and do you recall the really old coroner that wasn't too far away from being on that cold, metal table himself -- "Let's see what God has to say about this..." -- and then how Holly had to puke and instead of going to the bathroom locked herself in the body cooler and screamed for Grissom? And then remember how he said to all the bodies, "You jackasses!" and then actually gave Holly a hug? Oh, and I'm sure you remember the whole toenail case with Catherine and Warrick and the crazy cash register lady that was at the crime scene Grissom dropped Holly off at -- God, that's awful grammar (stupid prepositions) -- and then the awesome pep-talk Catherine gave Holly, right? Oh, and remember when Holly was shot because Warrick went to put a bet down for the stupid judge who was arrested in episode four entitled "Pledging Mr. Johnson" and how everyone was heartbroken at the end? Truly depressing, right?

Then in the next episode we found out that Holly died and how Sara "I'mhotforyouGrissom" Sidle came in from SanFran and was only supposed to be there temporarily -- like Grissom was supposed to temporarily be supervisor (and we all know six season isn't exactly "temporary") -- and how Catherine was angry at Grissom in the beginning and lied to Sara when she met her? And remember seasons later -- I'm jumping into the future here for a minute -- when we saw that awful, awful scene we all wished Sara would've never come to Vegas (although I know some of us wanted her gone beforehand, especially in the seasons when she practically stalked poor Grissom)? And then remember the episode with the trailer trash when Eddie -- a piece of trash himself -- took out a second mortgage on the house and how when he confronted and was physically with Catherine later Grissom came to the rescue? Because Grissom is made of supervisor-ly awesomeness. Oh, and of course episodes of CGR-goodness later came the finale where Grissom was almost killed/injured by the psycho Sid Goggle and how Catherine rescued him and how there was that heart-stopping -- and in a good way! -- scene at the end with the "Never doubt, never look back. That's how I live my life" and the secret exchanged smiles and the "Who ordered the shredded wheat?" and the grabbing Grissom? (And did I forgot to mention Paul Milander the Serial Killer? Yes, I did. It's a shame he killed himself, isn't it? He was the only person who Grissom couldn't truly analyze.)

Okay, so then we had to wait a whole summer and then it came back! So Season Two was just as gory and as CGR-filled -- although they really started developing the G-SR plot, which really took away some of the pleasure we found in the episode -- and as great as Season One, with just a bit of difference, right? There was that scene in "Cats in the Cradle" where Grissom was totally checking out Catherine's butt -- and Season Five where he says he missed her tush! *dies* -- and other tension and eye!sex filled moments that made our hearts leap ten-thousand miles in the air with happiness, and there was also that scene where Sara became all *searches for word* "over-emotional" and threatened to resign and join the FBI -- oh, I forgot Agent Caulpepper (however you spell it), too; that guy was full of himself, and on a side note, wasn't it irritating when Catherine was screaming "Politic!" in Grissom's ears? (Oh, but that scene where we saw for the first time that she was in his apartment *dies* and the scenes in "Gentle, Gentle" were priceless -- and some of us were all "Yippee!" and then all "Aw!" when he sent her that stupid, stupid plant because Catherine told him to do so while she was drinking a corkscrew in his apartment (but it was totally worth it because Catherine plus alcohol plus Grissom cooking for both of them equals *dies once more*). (Man, what a long sentence!) Oh yeah, it was epic!

So summer again, in all its heat and repeating CSI-ness, and then, Season Three! Yeah, so Season Three was just as great, with intriguing cases and more CGR and Sara dating Hank the Wank and the whole hour-and-a-half episode with Lady Heather -- right, Sara started dating in the middle of Season Two and the amazing Heather came in during that CGR-filled episode "Slaves of Las Vegas" -- and Grissom and hands and possibly "physical relations" between Heather and Grissom -- my second favorite 'ship involving Grissom! -- that could have or could have not been. Oh, and remember when Eddie the Bum died and when Grissom confronted her and when we all ripped our hair out at his inability to console her, and then remember at the end when Catherine was crying and when Lindsay hugged her? Brilliant! Right, and then there was the part where Sara couldn't solve the case and where Catherine was "This will be a great story to tell to my daughter" and where Sara was defending not solving the case (which was a dumb thing to do, anyway). So the season went on and more and more great episode were show and then....The finale came! It was the end of one of the best seasons ever, but man oh man, it was amazing. Catherine finding out Sam is her father and Grissom going in for surgery and the mind-blowing case and...*gasps* the hug that caused thousands of hoots and hollers and cheers. Remember that hug? It was incredible. Just Catherine hugging him and wishing him good luck and Grissom smiling and walking away and Catherine smiling at the view she had of her boss -- a view she may or may not have seen before. (And I'm sure Grissom didn't mind showing her that view or feeling that bit of wind on his buns, either.)

So summer again and groaning and moaning and anxiety as we waited for the new season. And it came and began with an okay opener. But, hey, remember in the beginning when Catherine welcomed him back after he heard her cell phone go off? Gah! I love her! *hugs invisible Catherine* The case was pretty interesting, but not as great as it had been, which is like what I thought of most of Season Four. Yeah, there were some great episodes -- "Early Rollout", "Fur and Loathing", and "Jackpot", to name the ones that I liked for the CGR -- case-wise (because the case comes before anything) and CGR-wise, but it was as stunning as the first three seasons. So we moved forward, and then we found out Sara was an alcoholic when she was pulled over and taken to the station where Grissom picked her up. Remember that? I'm sure there are still nicknames for her floating around the Net and discussions of CSI.

All right, so another summer and hopes of some kick-butt CSI! Yay! Then Season Five came and....Well, it flat-out stunk. They brought in too many new characters; they stupidly broke what did not need to be fixed; they totally killed most of the cases, and there was a lack of interaction between the characters who worked so well together in the past. There were some highlights, though, like the "tush" line and almost any interaction the sickly sadistic and stupid writers were willing to give to us. And then the finale, which was really, really bloody and strange, but also really wonderful. Poor Nick. First the dead stripper, then the stalker, and then being locked in a coffin and almost dying. *tear* That helped the season, in my opinion.

Yet another summer and more praying to the Gods of TV that the writers would shape up what they screwed up. And then Season Six came! Yay! It started out slowly, and it seemed like the end of CSI was imminent, but then things looked up. There was some much-needed interaction between some great pairings that had been lost in the pointless split -- speaking of Season Five, I forgot the bowtie scene *dies again* -- and the cases were better. And Lady Heather came back and all was pretty well in the world of CSI. And then, towards the end (part of which I missed because travel and whatnot) it started going down again. The cases became weak like they were in Season Five, and cries of depression came from the fans of CSI. And then....*gulps* CSI hit rock bottom. Below the belt. It was a slap in the face, a disgusting reality. It killed, slaughtered, murderer, violated. It was terrible, truly terrible. It left a scar on the already-somewhat-mangled face of our once-truly-beloved CSI.

And we are still weeping today. :(

But we must not forget the good times, like the Seasons One, Two, Three, Four, and the few episodes of Five and Six that brought us joy and made us feel the opposite of how we feel now.

The writers all need to wish or pray or whatever to the TV Gods and beg for their forgiveness. They violated a show that was once pure in all its bloody scenes and disturbing cases and witty and original characters and great one-liners. We need to get back the CSI we have lost, because anything else would be a sin.

So, remember when CSI was pulled from the murky depths of Relationship Hell and screamed in joy as it gasped for the air of the World of TV Greatness? No? Well, you will; we just have to make it happen.

Thank you, and please, remember.

(And don't forget to sign this petition, and if you want to take it a step further, check out this campaign. Also, if you want some great reading, see this essay entitled "The Yin/Yang Phenomena", which is all about CGR and its moments. And many thanks to blushingsigh for the link.)

That's all for now. How about a marquee with a CSI quote this week?

Catherine: "Never doubt, never look back. That's how I live my life." Grissom: "I admire that."

Please, please, please, please sign this. (I know! Three updates again! I'm insane, am I not? And if you're good, I'll compose a list of CSI fanfiction later. Maybe.)

http://www.petitiononline.com/eloide/petition.html

(The paragraph below contains spoilers from the finale, but please, if you don't want to die of a heart attack, I suggest you read it.)

You saw the CSI finale, with the horrible, horrible scene, the weak case, everything. We all know that this upcoming season is supposedly CSI's last (the actors are signed on for seven years), and if it's going to go, we don't want it to go with a nasty, horny, stupid Grissom and a sexed-up Sara. No! We want CSI to go with some dignity people. It's been going downhill. The cases have grown pathetically weak, and there's no more intrigue, no more actual "whodunit?", because about ten minutes in, we've solved the case, eaten half a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and insulted every horrible fanfiction writer there is at fanfiction.net. (Okay, so maybe that would take a bit longer, but I digress.) Help CSI regain some of the qualities it's lost and lose some of the ones it should have never gained. You know you want to do so, even if you're not planning on watching next season. Do it for poor Billy, who has been suffering through relationships and weak plots and personal tragedies. Do it for Marg, who's too talented to be put through this crap.

When and if you do sign, you can comment, but it's not necessary.

Thank you.

("Singin' on the Grillows 'ship/With Lady H and her whip/Grissom and his many a quip/Hey, why don't we all skinny dip?)

EDIT: Why Doesn't...?

Why doesn't Carol Mendelsohn go jump off a cliff somewhere?

And I quote: "'It was a very private, intimate moment and I think it suggested a level of comfortability that comes from a relationship that is not so new.'" -- And that's implying that Grissom and Sara have been boink buddies since Sara was legal? Telling someone how you want to die of a malignant cancer.... Oh, goodness, the romance is killing me, Carol. Please, ma'am, spare my stomach and esophagus the pain, the excruciating pain, and just end it. And I love how "comfortability" is marked as misspelled on LJ and Microsoft Word. That's hilarious.

"And Thy TV Gods Looked Down Upon Thy Set of the Tainted CSI and said unto Thy Stupid Writers, 'Hell Has Already Frozen Over from the Red Sox Winning the World Series, and We Cannot Do It Again. So How About Some Tongues of Fire?' And Thy Writers Screamed Loudly -- Even Louder Than Sara Did During Pooky-Pooky with Grissom -- as Their Backsides Were Hit with Thy Flames of Tainted TV. 'Now That Is Some Tainted Love,' Thy Humble Gods Said as the Soft Cells Began to Sing Their Heavenly Tune."

EDIT -- Thy Sequel:

Oh, wait, that's only part of a full-fledge interview. (Okay, so if you're like me and are easily enraged when you realize someone who has been dragging us along like a dead dog behind a car (think "Vacation" with Chevy Chase, people) *tear* for several years is fully for something you are against, I don't recommend this. Oh, and the comments at the end... *dies*

The front head in the front yard, Carol, the front head!